Sometimes I wonder why I cheat. How did it start? Why do I do it? Do I have a sex-addiction? Or am I just addicted to the adrenalin of the forbidden? And then there’s the guilt. Or rather the complete lack of guilt. Why do I not feel any sense of remorse or regret for what I do? Am I lacking a sense of morality? Am I some kind of sociopath? Am I the only one? Is it just me?
I’ve read a number of articles about adultery and serial adultery. My first observation is that most are written about men. The underlying assumption is always – ‘men just can’t help themselves, it’s in their DNA, oh, and their poor wives who are left holding the baby ‘. Take the recent stories about Tiger Woods, Sandra Bullock’s husband etc, etc. So is it just men doing this? Is there some innate higher morality that women internalise as children, which means they would never do such a thing? Or are women just better at hiding their adultery? For every man having an affair, there is another woman (or many, if he is like me).
The only place I have found any voice for adulterous women is in the blog sphere. It provides both comfort and relief to know that there are others, that I am not the only one. I wonder how many of the women sitting on the tube, or waiting in line at the supermarket are thinking about their younger lover, the night they will spend in a hotel with another married man, the web of lies they will need to weave to escape their husbands or boyfriends tomorrow night…
If my affair track record is anything to go by, then the husbands you would least suspect of having an affair are probably having an affair. I wonder if the same is true of women?
I’d love to know what your experiences are, do let me know.