I suppose it is time to introduce you to my original lover. He was not the first, but he was the first one I think I fell in love with. There have been lovers since and I am sure there will be more. But he was the one with whom I shared some of the most precious moments. I say ‘I think I fell in love with’, because at the time I was, but it is amazing how having children can change someone. I met him at work. The affair with the first lover was ongoing whenever he was in London on business. I didn’t think I would consider taking another lover. That seemed wrong. Strange how attitudes can change…
It was the office summer party, the year of the world cup in Germany. Another hot summer. We had already met in a meeting and so ended up sharing a table and drinking together. The conversation was fast-paced, witty, challenging. Like skipping across water, you have to keep moving forward or you’ll sink. He was tall, strawberry blond hair, piercing blue eyes. Some might say, not handsome, but there was something striking about him, possibly his intelligence, the sparkle in his eye, who knows. We told each other about our lives – he, married for many years, I, boyfriend of many years. There were certain strange similarities that are too difficult to document here. But he was someone I felt instantly at ease with, someone I felt I had known forever.
The evening was fun, lots of drink, food, great conversation. He made me laugh. As the party drew to a close, he offered to walk me home. I had my bicycle, so we walked together, bike between us. At one point we stopped and he bent over the bike and kissed me. That was the beginning of an affair that was to last many years, and I suppose in a way will always be there, in the background.
He came back to my place. This was new territory for both of us. The first lover always had a hotel room we could go to. This was the first time I had brought a man home. It was already late and so our time together was rushed, hushed, frantic. We fucked on the bed, on top of the covers. I remember feeling his weight on top of me. Finally a man taller than me. He was so gentle, the softest wet kisses. Already then, without knowing her, I envied his wife. His cock was large, erect. He had a physical presence that so many others don’t, a gravity that draws you towards him, anchors you. I would get to know his body inch by inch over the coming months. That night something changed for both of us. A leap of faith, perhaps. Only four months later, I was considering leaving my then boyfriend, now husband for him.