Let me give you a bit of background about me. I am a woman in my mid-thirties. I have been in the same relationship for 15 years, married to him for just over 2. He is the love of my life. I ache with love for him and he is one of the sweetest, kindest men I have ever met.
My infidelities started around the same time as our relationship, though in the early years they were minor infidelities. A kiss and a grope with my boss at Paddington station, crushes and flirtatious games with colleagues, many leading to more kissing and groping in dark corners of London. It was all very innocent. There was one fuck in those early years – on Brighton beach in full evening dress and heels. I remember the cold, hard pebbles, the frantic nature of what was to become my first ‘real’ betrayal and, incidentally, my first one night stand.
Then I turned 30 and a succession of events (both good and bad) triggered something in me. A switch had been flipped. My sexual appetite became ravenous and a simple IM chat with a colleague in Paris was the start of my first affair. That was five years ago. Since then I have had a number of lasting affairs, often simultaneously, many flings and one night stands. I know I am searching for something. Perhaps this blog will help me figure out what it is.